An Interview With The RK Cast
by Wolf Sapphire
Summary: Ever wonder what the RK cast would think if ever they seeread our fanfics? Esp. the pairings? Well wonder no more! After some minor problems, This RK writer finally got the chance to ask them how they feel about it. Well this will be quite interesting...
1. Default Chapter

AN: I found this particular fic when I was typing the next chapter for 'The Demon Child'…I made this when I was probably about 14...that was three years ago so don't expect too much alright?

Disclaimer: I don't own RK. I'm just borrowing them for the sole enjoyment of my fellow RK fans.

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**An Interview with the RK Cast**

_Chapter one: The First Day…_

Sapphire: Hey guys! Ever wonder what the RK cast would think if ever they see our fanfics? Especially the pairings? Well wonder no more! After some minor difficulties (cough…kidnapping/threatening/arguing…cough), I, Wolf Sapphire, finally got the chance to ask them how they felt about everyone writing about them, more so in about their love life. Hohoho!

Himura Kenshin and Kamiya Kaoru

Sapphire: So how does it feel to be the most popular pairing there is? (grins widely)

Kenshin: Oro! (eyes wide)

Kaoru: (blushes deeply)

Megumi: Humph! Ken-san would have been better off with me. (fox ears sprouted) Ohohoho!

Kaoru: (turns an angry red) Nani?!

Shura: No way! I'm the perfect woman to be with Kenshin.

Kenshin: Oro! Oro! Oro! Sessha's not with anybody, de gozaru.

Kenshin: Besides, I only think of Kaoru-dono as a friend….

All except Kaoru, Kenshin and Shura: (sarcastically) right……

Kenshin/Kaoru: (blush)

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Sagara Sanosuke and Takani Megumi

Megumi/Sano: WHAT!!!

Megumi: Me and that Rooster-head?!

Sano: Hey!

Megumi: (ignored Sano) You've got to be kidding Sapphire! Who would be so cruel as to write a fanfic with him and me as a couple?

Sapphire: (cough cough) Ummm…most of the RK fanfic authors who watched the show?

Sano: (snorted) Then they're blind. There's no way I could ever be interested in Kitsune here. (points thumb at Megumi)

Megumi: (face a dull red) And why is that Rooster-head? I happened to be a very attractive woman, you know. (tosses hair over her shoulder indignantly)

Sano: (gagged)

Tsubame: (hides behind her tray shyly) Ano…then why is that Sano-san always seemed to get hurt and Megumi-san has to fixed him up?

Megumi: (huffed) Because he's a brainless idiot who has trouble following him everywhere he goes like the plague.

Sano: At least I'm not some obsessively flirty woman who throws herself almost at every man she sees.

Megumi: Excuse me?!

Sano: coughyou'reaslutcough (cough you're a slut cough)

Everyone else: (sweatdrops as the two continued to argue)

Kenshin: Ma…ma…that's enough Megumi-dono, Sano…

Kaoru: (rolls her eyes) Too late Kenshin, they can't hear you anymore.

Everyone else: (nods their heads in agreement)

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Shinomori Aoshi and Makamichi Misao

Misao: (eyes shining brightly) AOSHI-SAMA!!!!! (drools)

Aoshi: (sweatdrops) "…."

Sapphire: (sobs quietly in a corner)

Aoshi: (cold facial expression) Misao…

All, even Megumi and Sano who paused in their argument, leaned in closer to hear Aoshi clearly.

Aoshi: (facial expression still cold)…Misao is a child.

All fell down except for Misao who was bursting with tears.

Misao: WAHH!! I'm not a child Aoshi-sama. I'm a grown woman!

Sapphire: (tries unsuccessfully to hide the joyful grin plastered on her face) Misao's right Aoshi, she is a grown woman…or are you incidentally just 'blind' like Sano here?

Sano: Hey!

Aoshi: (shooks head) Misao is like a little sister to me.

All except Sapphire fell down anime style. Both Aoshi and Sapphire sweatdropped at the sight.

Sano: Ice-box spoke a full sentence without pausing! It's a miracle! How did you do it Sapphire?

Aoshi: (glares icily at Sano)

All except Aoshi and Sapphire: (shivered at Aoshi's death glare)

Sapphire: (shrugs) Don't ask me, how would I know?

Misao: I hate you Aoshi-sama!

Misao: (runs away from everyone, tears in her eyes)

Kaoru/Megumi/Shura/Sayo/Yumi/Sapphire/Kamatari/Tokio/Tae: (glares at Aoshi) Now you've done it.

All male RK cast: (shudders at the murderous looks on the girls'…and gay guy…faces)

After much comforting and soft whispering, the girls managed to coax Misao out of her room. The ninja had locked herself inside and cried a river of tears. Finally, with Misao back, eyes dried of tears, the interview could now continue.

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Myojinsp?) Yahiko and ? Tsubame

Sapphire: Now that I think about it…what is your last name Tsubame?

Tsubame/Yahiko: (blushes)

Misao: (who had chosen a seat far, far away from Aoshi pokes Yahiko)

All: (watched as Yahiko toppled to the floor like a statue, unmoving)

Sapphire: Oh my….

Kaoru: (smirks) He's too embarrassed to comment. (looks at Sapphire and grinned) You should come by more often.

Sapphire: (giggles) Maybe someday I'll take you up on that offer.

Tsubame: (still blushing a bright red)

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? Katsu and ? Tae

Sano: What's with the '?'

Sapphire: (blushes in embarrassment) I don't know their last name so sue me.

Tae: Oh my…well we don't really know each other that much. (blushes)

Katsu: I'm an artist. I don't have time for a girlfriend.

All: (roll their eyes)

Sano: Cheh! This is so boring, on to the next pairing.

Sapphire: Fine!

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Shishio Makoto and ? Yumi

Kaoru: They're the perfect evil couple, no doubt about it.

All: (nods their heads in agreement)

Yumi: (blushes prettily at the compliment)

Shishio: (smirks his usual smirk)

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Seijuirou Hiko and….

Omasu: (jumps up and down crazily) Oh me! Me!

Okon: (shoves Omasu aside) No way! He's mine!

Hiko: (snuggled against his sake jar) Sake no koishii...

All: (sweatdrops)

Hiko: (started singing) 100 jars of sake on the shelf, 100 jars of sake on the shelf...you take one down and drink it all up, then you'll get 99 jars of sake left on the shelf…

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Hajime Saitou and Hajime Tokio

Saitou: She's my wife of course I love her.

Everyone except Sapphire, Saitou and Tokio: (toppled to the floor, their legs and arms sprawled)

Kenshin: Oro!

Sano: (gagged) Who would've pitied you so much that she even considered marrying you?

Tokio: (offstage) Don't you dare talk that way about my Hunnie-Bunnie!

All (except Sano): Hunnie-Bunnie?!

Saitou: (blushes) Tokio! What did we talk about?

Tokio: (appears besides Saitou) Oops?

Sano: (jaw dropped) ….

Kenshin: Oro! (eyes grew wide)

Kaoru/Megumi: (furious) Baka! (whacked Kenshin and Sano on the head respectively)

Tokio: (smiles then stood on her tip-toes to kiss Saitou)

All: (gagged as the two continued to lip-lock)

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Himura Kenshin and Yukishiro Tomoe

Kenshin: Oro! Sessha thinks that we should go to the next pairing now.

Kaoru: (glares at Kenshin)

Kenshin: (gives a nervous grin)

Everyone else: (gave confused looks with question marks hovering all over their heads)

Sapphire: (rolls her eyes and sighs) Sheesh, I don't even know why I bother with this pairing. Tomoe's dead for crying out loud!

Everyone who didn't know: WHAT?!?!

Aoshi: (looks up from a piece of paper) Yeah right, you just don't like her that's all.

Sapphire: (blinks at Aoshi) How did you know?

Aoshi: (points to the piece of paper) It says so right here on your private profile.

Sapphire: (turns an enraged blue) Give me that! (reaches out for the paper)

Aoshi: (held it further away from Sapphire's reach) When I'm through reading it.

Sapphire: (eyes glinted revenge)

After a couple of arguments ending with Aoshi nursing a black eye with an ice pack and a happy Sapphire burning her private profile to ashes, they were ready to continue once more.

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Kamiya Kaoru and Yukishiro Enishi

Kaoru: (blushes)

Kenshin: (goes Battousai eyed)

Yahiko: (laughing his socks off) HAHAHA! Busu and the white-haired freak? Now that's a pairing. HAHAHA!

Kaoru: (whacks Yahiko on the head) Shut up Yahiko-chan!

Yahiko: Don't call me chan! Busu!

Kaoru: (face an angry red) Yahiko-CHAN!

Yahiko: BUSU!

Everyone else: (sweatdrops)

Sapphire: Err…this might take a while.

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After an hour of bickering; Sapphire glanced at her watch and gave a shriek.

Sapphire: What?! It's time already? Oh well… (takes out her whistle and blew a high-noted shrill)

RK cast: (covers their pained eardrums)

Sapphire: (waits until everyone uncovered his/her eyes) Ok people. I have to cut this interview for short now. (taps her watch) I got to get home.

RK cast: (lets out huge sighs of relief)

Sapphire: (grins wickedly) So I'll just save the rest of the interview for next time.

RK cast: WHAT?!

Sapphire: (shrugs) Well, it depends on the readers/reviewers anyway…And I was so excited to interview what you guys feel about yaoi/yuri pairings…

RK cast: (faints)

Sapphire: Oh Boy… (takes out her cellphone and calls the ambulance)

**_To be continued_**

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AN: See? What did I tell you?


	2. The Second TimeTake One

AN: I really didn't think you guys would like this so much…I hope you guys would enjoy this chapter as well. (Smiles)

Note: Some crude language.

**Special Thanks to those who reviewed:**

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**An Interview with the RK cast**

_Chapter two: The Second Time…Take One_

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Everyone was enjoying the peacefulness of the early afternoon. As they ate their lunch (after they banned Kaoru from entering the kitchen); the Kenshin-gumi exchanged pleasant chats…

Not knowing that right at this very minute; I, Wolf Sapphire, had just entered the Kamiya dojo where they reside.

Like my animal ensigna; I crept like a predator towards my unsuspecting prey…

All the while; thanking Kami that, since I am a writer, I have the right to block out their creepy, ki-searching thingy-do that most anime characters have.

Slowly; I slid to the shadows like a ninja and then…

(AN: Okay, from now on; I'm going to refer to myself as a third person.)

Sapphire pushed a button in her universal remote and cued in the scary noises.

She smirked as the Kenshin-gumi looked up in alarm. The teen then pushed another button and the room went dark…

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!"

Sapphire smirked and took out her flashlight. Slowly, she crept up behind Kenshin since he was the only one she can see with his red hair and all.

She readied herself as she reached out a hand to tap the redhead firmly in the shoulder.

In the split second that it took Kenshin to turn around; Sapphire held her flashlight underneath her face and turned it on; all the while making scary faces.

"BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!"

"ARGH!!!"

"YAHH!!!!"

Trashing could be heard about in the dining area as the occupants scattered around. Some tried to head for the exit door which unfortunately for them; had been bolted shut. (Guess by whom? (winks))

Aoshi, who was the calmest of the group, had enough common sense left to switch on the lights.

Light flooded the room and the Kenshin-gumi looked down to see Sapphire rolling on the ground; laughing her head off.

Sapphire mustered the strength to sit up; tears of laughter falling down her cheeks.

"If only you guys could've seen your faces!" She managed to mutter out before she began another fit of uncontrollable giggles.

She ignored the glowering glares being thrown at her by the Kenshin-gumi.

"SAPPHIRE!!!"

Sapphire stopped laughing and snapped her eyes open. The first thing that crossed her mind was…

O oh…

Sapphire gave a nervous grin as she saw everyone take out their weapons of choice. (Megumi's being a broom).

"Err…Hey guys…Can't you take a joke?" She laughed nervously.

Sano merely smirked and cracked his knuckles.

Sapphire gulped as she saw the look in their eyes. They looked murderous…especially Kenshin.

"Err…Kenshin," She started, glancing at the redhead who looked ready to turn Battousai.

"Remember…your non-killing vow."

"What 'non-killing vow' Sapphire-dono?" asked Kenshin sweetly…a little too sweet.

"AIIEEE!!!"

Sapphire shrieked as the popular RK characters vaulted over the table and so began their merry chase.

Passersby looked on in amazement as they saw a young adolescent woman running down the street like a plague was after her with a small group of young women; young men (Kenshin isn't young but he sure looks like it!) and a boy welding various weapons sprinting after said woman.

People coughed as they inhaled the large clouds of dust the group left behind.

They shook their heads in dismay. Some even sighed.

Young people these days.

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After threats of bodily-harm and promises of unwanted-pairings if they don't quit it; Sapphire and the Kenshin-gumi finally settled themselves at the walkway outside the dojo's training hall.

It came as no surprise that Sapphire had chosen to sit besides Aoshi; him being the most level-headed of the group right now.

She wouldn't want to have another marathon going with her as the finishing line.

Sapphire coughed loudly to gain their attention…which wasn't that hard since they were still glaring death at her although both Kenshin and Aoshi seemed to have calmed down.

"Let's get started then."

Without further ado; Sapphire placed a voice recorder at the center of the table.

The Kenshin-gumi stared at it with interest; never having seen anything like it before.

"What's that?" asked Misao as she poked the small black box-like thingy.

Sapphire shooed the weasel ninja's hand away.

"Careful! It's a voice recorder; a common gadget from my world." She answered.

"What does it do?" asked Sano as he peered at it with narrowed eyes.

Sapphire opened her mouth to explain when a sudden thought crossed her mind and her eyes gleamed devilishly.

"Well you see Sano…" She started. "It's a voice-stealer. You just say something to it and it'll steal your voice…forever."

Sapphire said the last word with a dramatic flair.

The Kenshin-gumi's eyes widened.

"You're k-k-kidding Sapphire. Voices can't be stolen…" Sano stammered.

Sapphire smirked evilly.

"You want proof? So be it."

Sapphire reached out to press the stop button on the voice recorder and then rewind it to the part where Sano said for the last time.

Unnoticed by them; Sapphire sneaked her other hand at the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her remote control.

The teen stopped the rewinding and pressed play.

"You're k-k-kidding Sapphire. Voices can't be stolen…" boomed Sano's voice in the tiny speakers.

Quick as lightning; Sapphire held her remote at Sano's direction and pressed mute.

Sano opened his mouth to scream but realized to his horror that his voice was gone!

His brown eyes widened and he grasped his throat in outmost shock and horror.

"ARGH!!!!" screamed the other members of the Kenshin-gumi; scared out of their wits.

"His voice! It's gone!" exclaimed a frightened Kaoru.

Sapphire hid a smirk as she placed her remote back in the pockets of her jeans.

Whoah…When they advertised that it's universal; they mean it!

The mischievous writer basked herself at the silliness around her as Sano had a panic attack.

Currently; the lovable Rooster-head was brawling his eyes out…well it would be considered brawling if he could speak.

Just then; the dojo gates burst opened and in came the rest of the hardy cast of Rurouni Kenshin.

Sapphire pressed a button and cued in the dramatical entrance music.

Both Hiko and Saitou lifted an eyebrow as they heard the music. Shogo remained unfazed; already used to weird things happening. Enishi nudged his crimson-colored eyelids back up his nose as he glanced around him; trying to see where the strange music came from. Soujiro merely smiled his eerie smile while Yumi snug closer to Shishio. Kamatari, Cho, Sayo, Tokio, Tae, Tsubame, Okina and the rest of the Onibawashuu (including Hanyaa and the others) as well as several others whom I can't remember; entered the dojo's dwellings.

"Orororororororo!" moaned Kenshin as he looked at the size of the crowd that stormed inside the dojo.

"What are you all doing here, de gozaru?" He asked.

Hiko bonked his former apprentice on the head; earning smirks from Enishi; Shishio; Saitou and Shogo.

"Baka deshi." He muttered. "You invited us remember?"

"ORORORORORORORO!!!"

Saitou glanced at poor Sano who was still brawling and smirked.

"What happened to you?"

Sano stopped his charading to glare stonily at the Mibu Wolf. He mouthed his lips as if to say.

"Mind you own business, Wolf."

Saitou cocked up and eyebrow.

"What's wrong Rooster-head? Can't you speak anymore?"

The serious looks on the Kenshin-gumi's face confirmed Saitou's question.

Cho chuckled. "Well thank Kami-sama for that!"

"I could just kiss the one who did this to him!" The blonde-haired man quipped.

Sano pointed an accusing finger at Sapphire; who merely fluttered her eyes innocently.

However; the playful smirk in her face dissolved any thought of innocence that she might've radiated.

Aoshi was having his own problems. His ice blue eyes lightened and widened slightly as he glanced at his former teammates…which he might add were dead the last time he'd checked.

As if reading his mind; Sapphire pointed out.

"Being a fanfic author has its' perks. We can bring to life almost anyone…"

Then her voice lowered. "And we can bring anyone to death as well…"

"Sister…" muttered Enishi sadly as he glanced at Sapphire. "Sister…"

He took a step forward towards Sapphire.

"Mou! He thinks that you're his sister, Sapphire!" whispered Kaoru to the teen.

Sapphire's face took in a look of surprise…then disgust.

"WHAT?!?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!"

Sapphire took out her remote and pointed it at Enishi who was coming closer towards her.

"One more step; pretty-boy and I'll delete you permanently." She growled seriously.

"And I don't care how hot I think you are!" She ranted. "I am not Tomoe! I look nothing like her!"

Aoshi grumbled to himself, yet the others could still hear it.

"She doesn't like the woman as well."

In her haste to stand up; Sapphire pressed the mute button once more and Sano was finally able to speak again.

"I can speak again! Halleluhiah! I can speak again!!" The spiky-haired man cheered.

The majority of the cast rolled their eyes as the few minority smiled at Sano's rejoicing.

Kenshin was beginning to get fed up. Through gritted teeth; he growled.

"Would anyone care to explain why you'll all here?"

Chaos soon issued as nearly everyone spoke up; hearing the thinly-veiled threat dripped in the furious Rurouni's words.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!"

The others turned to face a ruffled-up Battousai.

Glaring stonily at them (although his eyes softened a bit when they met Kaoru's); Battousai muttered slowly.

"Could anyone _please_ explain all of this shit?"

Sapphire blew the bangs from her face and replied.

"I can. I invited them all here to do the interview."

Battousai glared stonily at the teen. Sapphire, however, remained unfazed.

Instead she returned his glare with her own before she shifted slowly to look at everyone else around the room.

"Now, if everyone could_ kindly _find a place to sit down and keep quiet; I can continue with the interview."

At her commanding glare; everyone in the RK cast scurried to find their seats.

Sapphire smiled smugly as soon as she saw that everyone had sat down and the noise volume lowered to a minimum.

She clapped her hands together in glee as a happy grin etched itself on her lips.

"Now…let's start again once more…"

**_To be continued_**

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AN: Well how was it? Anyway, I have a question for you guys. Do you prefer the writing style of this chapter or would you like the type I used in the first chapter? Anyway, please review and perhaps I'll write the next chapter faster. (grins)


	3. Take TwoGlares All Around!

AN: Everyone that you see and read in this fic is not of the author's feelings about a certain particular character. Well…not most at least… Hohoho!

**Special Thanks to everyone who reviewed!:**

**ghettotaku****; The Psychotic One; Kenny-kunsgurl; Exquisite Cherry; Deus X Machina; Uenki; steelphoenix; blue-katana-girl; Sky Fairy 77; Doctor Kiba and KS and TJ; samuraiduck27; amida-chan; evilteddybear**

**An Interview with the RK Cast**

_Chapter three: Take Two...Glares All Around!  
_

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Sapphire tapped her chin thoughtfully as she racked her brain.

"Now, if only I can remember where we'd stopped…" She murmured to no one in particular.

Memory finally struck her and Sapphire slapped her fist against her palm.

"Ah, now I remember!" She exclaimed.

Sliding her voice recorder closer to Enishi, Sapphire put on her best smile and asked in a cute, innocent voice.

"Enishi, what do you think about us authors pairing you up with Kaoru?"

Since Sapphire wasn't facing the Kenshin-gumi, she couldn't see the redness hue on Kaoru's face nor the silent fuming of Battousai as he glared stonily at the young adolescent's back.

However, Sapphire could hear the chuckles of the other residents of the Kamiya dojo and her lips twisted to a playful smirk.

Enishi raised an eyebrow but replied just as well. "Eh, I don't know why anyone would bother to pair us up but…"

His voice trailed off as he cast his turquoise eyes at Kaoru and locked gazes with her. The rest of his sentence was heard as he continued.

"I wouldn't mind being in a romantic relationship with Kaoru, I find her very beautiful in fact."

Enishi smirked. "I remembered that she looked very ravishing in that simple bathrobe of hers…quite revealing too. Her curves were just at the right places."

A playful smirk etched in his features at the sapphire-eyed woman whose face was turning a shade of red that could rival the color of Kenshin's hair.

Speaking of which, the redhead was struggling inwardly as the Hitokiri inside him wanted to take control and slice the snow-haired man's head clean off his neck.

Reversed-edge sword or non-reversed-edge sword.

However, all it took was for Enishi to wink suggestively at Kaoru and Battousai emerged to the surface faster than you can say Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu.

Amber eyes flashed dangerously as Battousai sprang up from his seat besides Kaoru and at Enishi.

Screw his sakabatou; Battousai would rather choke the motherf…ker with his bare hands.

What the Hitokiri didn't count on was that Sapphire would expect this sort of thing to happen.

Just as Battousai was about to pounce on Enishi, Sapphire reached an arm out and grasped the redhead's ponytail and pulled firmly.

"There'll be no killing and no physically injuring of people as long as this interview is still unfinished!" She said unwaveringly.

Battousai soon found himself face down in his seat and this is where Kenshin finally took control.

Amethyst depths with just the tint of amber in them semi-glared at Sapphire as the owner got up to an upright sitting position.

Kenshin rubbed his bruised nose with one hand as he nursed his aching scalp with the other.

"Oro…Did you have to pull so hard?"

Sapphire smirked. "Yes." She answered bluntly.

Silence reigned as the others stared at the spectacle in awe.

A small chuckle.

Then another emitted as the first chuckle grew louder into giggles.

Before long, full-blown laughter could be heard even from the outside.

Hiko wiped a tear in his eye as he slapped his other hand against Kenshin's back.

The unintentional force of the gesture was too great that Kenshin felt the air knocked out of his lungs. Fortunately, it wasn't long before he got his second wind and thus, able to breathe again.

"Well, well, baka deshi," The older man said in between huffs of laughter. "Who would've thought that you would be so jealous? Or that a simple young girl could beat you so easily."

Sapphire fumed at this. "Hey! Who are you calling a 'girl'? I happened to be a young woman, you know!"

Kenshin tossed his Shishou an amber-eyed glare.

Unfazed, the long brown-haired man simply rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that Battousai-look, baka deshi. You know full well that I could take you on with one hand tied behind my back."

Kenshin coughed harshly. "Need I remind you that you were the one lying on the ground the last time we sparred?"

There was a note of smugness evident in Kenshin's voice.

Hiko merely scoffed.

"Lucky break, your arrival took me by surprise and I lost my focus."

Kenshin was quick to reply.

"Or maybe it could be the fact that you had too much sake at the time."

"Hey, leave Sakie out of this!"

The rest of the RK cast blinked at Hiko. Question marks hovered above most heads while some contented themselves to simply raising their eyebrows. Sapphire momentarily forgot her ranting and stared at Hiko curiously as well.

"Sakie?" They chorused; gazes still fixed on the cape-wearing man.

Hiko looked at them all, a serious look in his face.

"Yes Sakie, my koishii." He answered blandly, as if it was as obvious as the sun in the sky.

With that last comment, Hiko took a huge sake bottle from his pockets and hugged it as if it was a person. It wasn't that freakishly bad but nobody bothered to hide the grossed-out look etched on his/her faces when Hiko started to kiss it lovingly, muttering all the while.

"Sakie…Sakie…Sakie…"

Sapphire was the first to snap out of it and her eye twitched involuntarily.

"You actually name your sake bottle?" The teen asked.

An SD (super deformed) Hiko nodded his head cutely.

"Yes," He answered. "Is there a problem with that?"

Hiko sat there with a confused look in his face as he stared at his companions who were currently sprawled on the floor, twitching their eyes and such.

Hiko frown a little as he turned to glance at his sake bottle.

"I knew I should've named you Sakina instead…"

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After everyone aside from Hiko was checked-up by doctors for fear that their brains had turned to mush from too much falling, it was time for the interview to continue.

Sapphire sighed as she turned on her voice recorder once more, along with her video camera, and got started again.

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**Yukishiro Enishi and Makamichi Misao:**

Enishi: (snorts) Frankly, Makamichi's not my type. She's too scrawny.

Misao: (fumes) Yeah, well sister-obsessed psychopathic men with freakishly weird hair color are not my idea of a dream man as well!

Enishi: You call me obsessed? Hah! What about you? Drooling over that Ice Buddha? (points a thumb at Aoshi's direction)

Sano: (chuckles) Ice Buddha…that's actually funny. Who came up with that idea?

All eyes turned to Sapphire, who was busy filing her already-short nails.

Sapphire: (looks at them innocently) What?

Misao: (ignores the commotion around her and fixes her gaze at Enishi) I am not drooling over Aoshi-sama!

Sapphire: (rolls her eyes) Yeah right. (pauses, deep in thought) But I got to say that it's not Misao's entire fault…I once saw a picture of Aoshi half-naked and he's smoking!

Aoshi: (a faint blush could be seen on his cheeks) "….No comment…"

Misao: (glares at Sapphire) WHAT?! You actually saw him half-naked?!

Sapphire: (sweatdrops) Eh…Heheh (laughs nervously)

Sapphire: (coughs) (glances at her naked wrist) Oh, would you look at the time? Unfortunately I don't have enough time for this chitchat to continue so I'll just go on with the next pairing….

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**Shinomori Aoshi and Takani Megumi:**

Sano/Misao: (turns green with jealousy)

Aoshi: (turns to face Megumi) Don't take it personal Takani but loud, flirty and obnoxious women who think that they're half fox are not of my interest.

Megumi: (unfazed) None taken, Shinomori. Emotionless, seemingly-mute and block of ice-type men like you are not what I would desire as a lover either.

The others sweatdropped except for Sano and Misao who were still influenced by the green-eyed monster.

Sapphire: Errr…well that's…pretty polite in a weird and kind-of boring way…

--------------

**Himura Kenshin and ? Shura:**

Kaoru: (glares death at Shura)

Shura: (glares death at Kaoru)

The tension between the two women was so high that you could cut it with a knife, figuratively speaking.

Kenshin: Oroorororororo…. (sinks lower in his seat)

Sapphire: (in a sarcastic voice) Well this is quite interesting….Let's move on shall we?

-------------

**Himura Kenshin and Makamichi Misao:**

All RK cast: (blinks) (stares at Sapphire peculiarly)

Sapphire: (huffs) Hey, when I said alternative couplings, I meant it.

Misao: (faints from shock)

Okon/Omasu: (helps Misao up and fanned her, trying to revive the young girl-woman)

Hiko: (chuckles) Ohoho! My baka deshi's quite the ladies' man, isn't he?

Kenshin: (blushes) That's enough Shishou!

Kaoru: (says in a sad voice) Well…Misao did have a crush on Kenshin once…

Kenshin: ORO?!?!

Yahiko: (raises an eyebrow) and how would you know, Busu?

Kaoru: (glares at Yahiko) I know since she told me so herself.

Aoshi: (stares at Kenshin coldly)

Kenshin: (smiles sheepishly) Eh….Oro?

The other RK cast not from the Kenshin-gumi sighed and shook their heads in dismay.

-----------

**Himura Kenshin and Amakusa Sayo:**

Kenshin: (eyes wide) Oro! I don't even know her! How could I possibly be in love with her if I haven't even seen her?!

Shougo: (glares at Kenshin) (loosens the hilt of his sword from his sheath)

Shougo: Touch my sister and I will not hesitate to kill you, Battousai. I will drench the floor with your blood as I tear your body limb by limb with my own hands if I have to before I throw your bloody carcass down a cliff full of sharp rocks and then cut you into such little tiny pieces that the fish won't have a hard time gulping you down.

Kenshin: (goes Battousai-eyed) (grunts) Eh…I'd like to see you try…

Both men glared death at each other.

Sapphire: (shivers) Okay…well I guess that about sums it up…On with the next pairing.

-----------

**Sagara Sanosuke and Makamichi Misao:**

Sano/Misao: WHAT?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!

Megumi frowned at the idea but then forced herself to plaster a smile on her face.

Megumi: Ehh…I wouldn't be surprised…Rooster-head and Weasel would make a lovely couple. (pauses) Although I feel pity for their children to have received such a hideous line of genes from their mother and father.

Sano/Misao: MEGUMI!!!!

The others merely snickered whilst Sapphire smiled knowingly as she had noticed the frown on Megumi's face beforehand. The young adolescent nudged Kaoru on the ribs and leaned in to whisper privately.

Sapphire: Did you see the way Megumi frowned?

Kaoru: (nods her head) Of course.

Both women exchanged mischievous smirks.

-------------

**Yukishiro Enishi and Takani Megumi:**

Enishi/Megumi: (pukes)

Everyone else: (moves away from the two) Eww…..

------------

**Himura Kenshin and Hajime Tokio:**

Tokio/Kaoru: (have mortified looks on their faces)

Saitou: (whispers) Slay evil instantly…

Kenshin: Oro! Sessha thinks that this has gone too far! I am not a wife-stealer!

Saitou: (takes out his sword) You better not be. (glares at Kenshin)

Tokio/Saitou/Kaoru/Kenshin: (glares at Sapphire)

Sapphire: (held her hands up in defense) Hey, don't look at me, I'm just the interviewer. I prefer Saitou/Tokio fics myself.

-------------

**Sagara Sanosuke and Amakusa Sayo:**

Sano/Sayo: (blushes)

Shougo/Megumi: (scowls deeply)

Sapphire saw this and nudged Kaoru on the ribs, the sapphire-eyed woman mock-glared at the other young woman but Sapphire simply waved it off.

She pointed to Megumi's direction and Kaoru, taking the hint, followed with her eyes and a smirk began to creep up her face as she noted the furious look on the cinnamon-eyed doctor's face.

Sapphire: I think they would make such a cute couple, don't you Kaoru? (winks knowingly at Kaoru)

Kaoru: (smiles mischievously) Uhuh, I absolutely agree with you on that Sapphire.

Sano/Sayo: (blushed deeper)

Yahiko: (laughs boisterously) Oi, Rooster-head, you're blushing! It must be true then!

Sano: (glares at Yahiko) Shut up Yahiko-chan!

Yahiko: Don't call me chan! (stucks tongue out) beside, you can't make me shut up! I have my rights, you know. What are you gonna do? Take me to the coppers?

Sano: (in a mob-like voice) Eh, I'm gonna clubber ya, see? (waves his fists in a threatening manner)

Yahiko: (imitating Sano's tone of voice) Eh, you'll never take me alive coppers!

Sapphire: (sweatdrops) Okay…No more lending you two those old mob-gangster movies. They're already starting to affect what little brain cells you have left.

The others snickered at Sapphire's comment.

-----------------

**Himura Kenshin and ? Tae:**

Kaoru: (scowls deeply)

Katsu: (frowns)

Kenshin/Tae: Not possible. Sorry.

Katsu/Kaoru: (smiles in relief)

--------------

**Tsukijou (sp?) Katsu and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Katsu: (winks at Kaoru)

Kaoru: (smiles politely)

Kenshin: (glares at Katsu)

Tae: (frowns a little)

Sapphire: (rolls her eyes) Gee…how talkative you guys sure are…

--------------------

**Seta Soujiro and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Kenshin: (bit his lip in jealously)

Soujiro: (smiles his usual smile)

Sano: That can't be right! Soujiro's just a kid! He's too young for Jou-chan.

Sapphire: (waves off Sano's comments) (scoffs) Heh FYI Sano, Soujiro's older than Kaoru. He's 22 for god's sake!

The rest of the RK cast stared at Sapphire in shock with their jaws hung low while Soujiro merely smiled his usual smile…again.

"WHAT?!"

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "You heard me, Soujiro's twenty-two years old."

Sapphire: (pinches Soujiro's cheeks in a sisterly manner) Though he doesn't look like his age, does he?

The rest numbly nodded their heads in agreement while Soujiro opened his eyes and pried Sapphire's hands away from his face.

-------------------------

**Sagara Souzou and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Sano: EH?!?! Taicho-sama's too old for Jou-chan!

Sapphire: (glares at Sano) Are you questioning my beliefs? I happen to think that they make a cute couple.

Sapphire: (goes over to Souzou's side and gushes at his looks) Did anyone ever tell you that you're very good-looking Souzou-san?

Souzou: (blushes) Well…not really…

Sapphire: (beams him a smile) Well let me be the first then!

Sapphire: (takes a deep breath) You're so handsome Souzou-san! I'm even a member of your fan club which is every huge considering that you appeared only in a few episodes in the series.

Kaoru: (crept up closer towards Souzou and Sapphire) Hmmm… (she peers into Souzou's face as if to size him up before she turned to face Sapphire) You're right Sapphire, he does look very handsome.

Souzou: (blushes)

Kenshin: (gritted his teeth and his eyebrow twitched involuntarily)

------------------

**? Yutaro and ? Tsubame:**

Yahiko: (turns deep green with envy)

Tsubame: (blushes prettily as she smiles at Yutaro)

Yutaro: (smiles shyly at Tsubame)

Kaoru/Yumi/Misao/Sapphire/Kamatari/Tokio/Tae/Omasu/Okon/Megumi/Shura/Sayo: Aww…So cute. (sighs) Young love…

All the older male RK cast: (smirked at the jealous look on Yahiko's face)

Yahiko: Eh! I challenge you Yutaro to a match!

Yutaro: (raises an eyebrow at Yahiko) For what?

Yahiko: (turns red) Eh, you damn know what!

Kaoru: Yahiko! Watch your language.

Yahiko: (grunts) Sorry.

Kaoru: (glares at Sano) You were the one, weren't you?

Sano: (smiles nervously) Eh…I don't know what you're talking about Jou-chan…

Kaoru: (scoffs) Yeah right, no more free food for you for a whole week!

Sano: Aww…come 'on Jou-chan!

Yahiko: (sweatdrops as the two continue to argue) Oi! Guys, I'm still here you know…

Kaoru/Sano: (stops) Oh, gomen (blushes embarrassingly) Continue…

Yahiko: (sighs) Finally (turns to Yutaro) Now let's fight (swings his bokken at Yutaro)

Yutaro: (sighs as he dodges Yahiko's strike) I still don't know your reason but… (a playful grin etched in his lips) I'm not one to back down from a challenge.

Yutaro/Yahiko: (yells in surprise and slight anger as their bokkens suddenly vanished from their hands)

Sapphire: (glares at the two boys) If you don't mind, I'm trying to get an interview here so would you guys please settle your love lives some other time.

Sapphire: (ignores the two boys' outraged ranting as they complied and sat down once again in their seats)

------------------------

**Hajime Saitou and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Sapphire: (whistles innocently, unmindful of the glares being sent her way)

Kaoru/Saitou: (looks at each other then shudders) We are so not compatible.

Tokio/Kenshin: (smiles happily at the revelation)

Sapphire: (shrugs) It's alright with me, I'm not that much of a Saitou/Kaoru fan anyway.

-----------------

**Makoto Shishio and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Kaoru: (gags)

Shishio: (smirks his usual smirk)

Kenshin: (glares at Shishio with dark amber eyes)

Yumi: (glares stonily at Kaoru)

Sapphire: (shudders at the thought) Umm…I'm going to have to skip this one…

Everyone else: (looks grossed out) Please do….

------------------------

**Okina and Kamiya Kaoru; Takani Megumi; Tae; Hajime Tokio; Omasu/Okon; Makamichi Misao; Shura; Amakusa Sayo; Yumugato Yumi; Wolf Sapphire…**

All RK cast aside from one: (had gross looks on their faces)

Sapphire: (furious) EH!?! Who the hell put that in my notes?!

Okina: (pops up) Yakyakyakyak!!! Hello my pretties…. (sprints over to the women)

The rest of the men from RK group looked up as they saw the perverted old man flying towards the sky like an eagle courtesy of Fist-Bokken-Kunai-Fan-Kick-Tray-Combo Express. Inside, they felt a pang of sympathy but it was quickly dissolved.

Meanwhile, the women were busy tidying themselves up, as if nothing significant had happened.

-------------------

**Okita Souji and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Souji: (shrugs and cast a smile at Kaoru) I don't know Kamiya-san that well so I can't say if I would like her as possibly more than a friend.

Kaoru: (smiled back) I don't know Okita-san that well either.

Kenshin: (bit his lip to the point that he had began to draw blood)

---------------------

**Himura Kenshin and Takani Megumi:**

Megumi: Ohohoho! (fox ears sprout above her head) Now, this is what I call a perfect pairing.

Sano and Kaoru: (glares at Kenshin)

Kenshin: (gulps at the looks cast upon him) Gomen Miss Megumi but I'm not interested in you anything more than as a friend.

Megumi: (pouts) What do you mean Ken-san? Am I not womanly enough for you? (flings her arms around Kenshin and hugged him tight)

Kenshin: (muffled Oro's as Megumi had pressed his head between the valley of her bosom)

Sano: (cracks his knuckles loudly)

Kaoru: (takes out her bokken)

A furious Sano pulled Kenshin roughly from Megumi's bone-crushing embrace.

Kenshin gasped loudly as he took in needed oxygen.

Kenshin: Thanks…Sano? (reflects on what had happened and a look of dread etched on his face) Oro! It's not what you think…

Sano was about to punch Kenshin in the face and redo his facial bone structure when a smirk etched on his lips.

Sano: Eh, I think I'll just let Jou-chan have a go on you first.

No sooner had he said this that Kaoru hit Kenshin on the head with her bokken…hard.

Kaoru: KENSHIN, YOU PERVERT!!

Kenshin: ORO!! Kaoru-dono!! It wasn't my intention, I swear!

The others merely watched on, not daring to intervene and face the wrath of a rampaging bokken-wielding Tanuki.

------------------------------------------

After a couple of minutes spent on Kaoru chasing Kenshin with her bokken and a few hours used treating the bruises inflicted on said-Rurouni as soon as Kaoru had cooled down enough to listen to reason; they were ready to continue.

-----------------------------------------

Kenshin: (nursing a rather large lump in his head) Oro…I think you should lay off the pairings that include me for a while Sapphire-dono…

Sapphire: (sighs) Alright…I did say that no one would die and your fans would probably kill me if you would end up in the hospital's emergency room.

Kenshin: (smiles) Thank you, Sapphire-dono.

Sapphire: (smirks) Don't thank me yet, Kenshin. Although I'm done with pairings of you and a female character, that doesn't mean that I'm through with you yet….

Kenshin gulped. Why did he have the feeling that things are only going to get worse for him?

--------------------------------------

**Sagara Sanosuke and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Sano/Kaoru: EH?!?!

Kaoru: That's ridiculous! I love Sano like a brother, not more than that!

Sano: And Jou-chan's like a little sister to me… (trails off) Though I would have to admit that she caught my attention when we first met…

Kaoru: (blushes) (whacks Sano in the head) Sano!

Kenshin/Megumi: (frowns deeply)

Megumi: (managed to twist her lips to form somewhat of a smile) Ohohoho! You're quite the wanton aren't you Tanuki?

Kaoru: (blushes) (glares at Megumi) Shut up Megumi!

Kaoru: (smirks playfully and flicks her raven hair back) Beside, is it my fault that I happened to be an attractive young woman?

Megumi: (scoffs) Yeah right…The authors probably felt pity for you since you couldn't even get Ken-san's attention…

Kaoru: (glares death at Megumi, effectively hiding her hurt feelings) What would you know, Megumi?

Meanwhile, Sano was looking at the silent Kenshin nervously.

Sano: Eh…Kenshin?

Kenshin: (the bangs of his red hair hiding his amber-eyes) "…."

Sano: (gulped) Oi…Kenshin?

Kenshin: (looks up to reveal violet-colored eyes) What, Sano?

Sano: (sighs in relief) Gods! For a second there, I thought you're going Battousai on me.

Kenshin: (smiles sweetly…a little too sweetly) Oh come now, Sano. Why would I ever hurt you?

Kenshin: (his voice toned down into the brash voice of the Battousai) After all, it's not like you're interested in Kaoru-dono like that, are you?

Sano: (waves his hands in a negative signal) No, not at all. (laughs nervously) Like I mentioned earlier, Jou-chan's like a sister of mine.

Kenshin: (tilted his chin down so that his hair once again hid his eyes) I should hope so…For your sake.

Everyone shuddered at the coldness of the redhead's voice as he said those words.

They sounded like that of an overly-possessive and powerful man who wouldn't hesitate to hurt those who dared to touch what is his and his alone.

Sapphire: (smiles cheekily)

'Finally…We're getting somewhere.' She thought to herself.

--------------------------------

Sapphire pause the interview momentarily for everyone to finish the last of their chores. By the time everybody had finished, Sapphire had just enough time left for one last coupling before she would retire back to her own world for the day.

---------------------------------

**Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru:**

Sapphire: (squeals in glee) AIEEE!!!!

RK cast: (stares at Sapphire queerly)

Sapphire: (continues to rant on, oblivious to the others around her) AK is definitely my most favorite alternative coupling! They would look so good together!

Misao: (fumes) Oi! That's where you're wrong, Sapphire! Kaoru-chan and Aoshi-sama are so not meant for each other!

Sapphire: (glares at Misao with narrowed eyes) I dare you to say that again…

Misao: (smirks) Read my lips. They. Don't. Go. Together.

Sapphire: (glares at Misao) I don't think so! You're just jealous.

Misao: (turns red in anger) Am not!

Sapphire: Are too!

Misao: Oh bite me!

Sapphire: Kiss mine, Ninja-wannabe!

The rest of the crew shook their heads in dismay as the two continued to bicker at each other.

Aoshi: (taps Kaoru on the shoulder)

Kaoru: (turns to face him)

Kenshin: (saw the two huddling closer near each other and decided to eavesdrop)

Aoshi: (looks at her deeply) You do know that I'm not interest in anything more than friendship with you right?

Kaoru: (nods her head) Of course, Shi-chan. (chuckles) Beside, Misao would have my head.

Aoshi: (smiles) Yes and Battousai would probably 'Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu' me out of existence if ever I touched you in an intimate way, Ru-chan.

Aoshi/Kaoru: (laugh freely)

Kenshin smiled as he watched the two interact before he turned his attention back towards the two bickering women.

'Good.' The redhead thought to himself, the jealous amber color of his eyes dimming back to their friendly lavender hue.

At least he wouldn't have to worry about Aoshi taking an interest in his Kaoru.

Yes. His Kaoru.

Kenshin wet his lips as a playful smirk spread across his face.

Now all he needed to do is to make Kaoru realize that she belonged to no one but him.

It shouldn't be that hard, right?

Hearing Kaoru calling his name, Kenshin snapped his head back and gave his famous Rurouni smile, hiding his true thoughts and intentions.

Kenshin didn't want to frighten Kaoru away. If he is to get Kaoru to accept his pursue of her, he would have to seduce her slowly, almost obliviously if he'd have to.

Which is quite hard as the redhead will soon find out for himself…especially since Kaoru's not as naïve nor as ignorant as he thought her to be.

Meanwhile, Sapphire had managed to retrieve her universal remote from the pockets of her jeans and pointed it to Misao as she pressed the 'mute' button.

Misao grasped her throat as her voice suddenly disappeared.

Sapphire merely smiled and sat down in her seat. Absentmindedly, she took out a book from her bag and started to read as Misao continued to shout insults and profanities (well at least they would be if one could read lip-talk) at the other young woman.

The rest merely chuckled at the scene the two made.

-----------------------------------

It took a couple of hours before Sapphire finally took pity at Misao and returned the young woman's voice.

By that time, it was nearly evening and Sapphire had to go home.

-----------------------------------

"I've got to go back to my own world now." Sapphire mentioned as she busily began to pack up her things.

"Won't you stay for some dinner at least, Sapphire-dono?" invited Kenshin.

The others nodded their heads in agreement.

Sapphire smiled.

"That's kind of you all but I have to go, I still got a lot of things to prepare for the next interview."

"NANI?!?!"

Sapphire smirked as she saw the glazed look in their eyes.

"You really didn't think that I had finished my interview now, do you?" She asked them.

When they said yes, Sapphire merely laughed.

"No you silly, I still have lots of things to ask you about."

Sapphire began to count off the list of her questions.

"First, I have to ask you guys about the yaoi/yuri pairings, then I have to give you guys some samples of RK writers' works with their permission of course, then I have to ask questions the people, who read my interview, wanted to know about you guys."

Saitou cut off Sapphire with a motion of his hand.

"This wouldn't be considered as an interview, then." He pointed out to her.

Sapphire looked deep in thought.

"Now that you've mentioned it…I guess it could be called a documentary then instead."

She beamed them all a mega-watt smile.

"That just means that I'm going to be around here for quite a long while…"

Lightning strike and thunder rolled from the background as Sapphire laughed evilly.

"HOHOHOHOHO!"

Everyone shivered as the young woman continued to laugh.

Somehow, they got the feeling that tomorrow's going to be a very long day.

A very long day indeed.

-----------------------------

**_to be continued_**

Sapphire: Well? How did you guys like it? I sort-of combined the script and story style together since well…at least this way, everybody's happy. (smiles)

Btw, as you may have known already, next chapter's going to focus on the yaoi/yuri pairings…then I guess I would have to sneak in a few Battousai/Kaoru moments as well…That shouldn't be too hard…I guess…

Also, there may be a possibility that I will let the RK crew read some of the fanfics we writers made of them next chapter as well…Mwahaha, this is going to be fun…

Remember the basic equation of all fanfictions: lots of reviews (plus) happy Sapphire (equals) next chapter!


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